Tuesday, July 28, 2020

Captain's Log, Day 22: The Very Long folklore Post Your Heart Needs


Date: July 28, 2020
Time of post: 4:55 PM
Quarantine Day: 125
Last Song I Listened To: “hoax” by Taylor Swift
Last Person I Communicated With: group text with Mikayla & Jacque
Last Thing I Ate: guacamole chips
Last Thing I Read: one of the articles I linked in this post lol
Current Mood: proud that I finally finished this blog
One Thing I’ve Accomplished Today: got some cards to mail out!
One Thing I Want To Accomplish Today:crafts with Mom
One Reason I’m Stressed Today: not stressed, but disappointed that it rained and I couldn't do my planned "cardigan" photoshoot
One Reason I’m Happy Today: idk I've been thinking about Taylor Swift a lot, and that always brings me joy


Dear Apocalypsers,

I’m trying to do more of what I want to do without worrying about what people think, so here’s my personal review of folklore. The “initial thoughts” come straight from a notebook where I jotted down my feelings during the first listen-through. Feel free to disagree or to reach out to talk more. I could talk about this album (and all of Taylor's work) every hour of the day for the rest of my life and never get bored.

Song: “the 1”

Rating: 8/10
Favorite line: “Rosé flowing with your chosen family / And it would have been sweet / If it could have been me”

Initial observations:

  • “She sounds so STRONG!”
  • “OMG she said ‘shit’!”
  • “WOW”  
  • “‘It would’ve been fun if you would have been the one’ just hits wow”

Other thoughts: This is still such a solid song, and it might be my favorite opening track of hers (though I’ll always have a sweet spot for “Tim McGraw”). The lyrics are a little melancholy thinking about what could have been, but when she opens with, “I’m doing good / I’m on some new shit,” you can’t really be too sad for her. And I think this song sets up the album really well in terms of style and structure, because you can definitely see her playing with song format; it’s so different from what she’s done in the past, but it’s still got a little bit of bounce that ushers you nicely into this “indie Taylor” era. It didn’t make me cry or my mouth drop or anything, but it’s definitely one I’ll be bopping along to for the rest of my life.



Song: “cardigan”

Rating: 9/10
Favorite line: “I knew you / Your heartbeat on the High Line / Once in twenty lifetimes” or “I knew you / Leaving like a father / Running like water”

Initial observations:

  • Of the video: “like Alice in Wonderland meets ‘Falling’
  • “I thought it’d be a love song, but IT’S NOT WHAT OMG!!”
  • “It’s so beautiful and mature and sultry and WOW! What a vibe!”
  • “So warm and yet chilly! Feels like fog!”

Other thoughts: I was hesitant when she announced “cardigan” as the lead single, because I haven’t been a huge fan of her pop singles—“ME!” was not a good representation of Lover (2019); “Look What You Made Me Do” had an incredible video, but the song is far from the best on reputation (2016) (I’m also bitter that “GetawayCar” wasn’t a single); and “Shake It Off” is hella catchy, but doesn’t hold a candle to some of the pop masterpieces on 1989 (2014)—BUT, I’m here to say that “cardigan” is still one of my faves from folklore. The song makes me want to curl up in from of a fire and cast spells on those who have hurt me. Like, there’s heartbreak in this song. She saw this other person drunk and dancing in these intimate moments (very reminiscent of moments from Lover) and she called it a “once in twenty lifetimes” kind of love and that they made her feel wanted—and then they left. And the fact that she basically says, “I knew you would” is heartbreaking in and of itself because you just get the feeling that a lot of people have left her. So, yes, big “cardigan” fan.



Song: “the last great american dynasty”

Rating: 7.5/10
Favorite line: “There goes the most shameless woman this town has ever seen” or “I had a marvelous time ruining everything”

Initial observations: 

  • “Kennedys?”
  • “Rebekah??? Bill?? Standard Oil??”
  • “gauche”—love it!
  • “Holiday House???”
  • “Not a cute ‘Mary’s Song’”
  • “‘She had a marvelous time ruining everything’—MOOD”
  • “Dali?? Salvador, maybe?”
  • “Is this like ‘Starlight?’
  • “IS THIS ABOUT TAYLOR’S RHODE ISLAND HOUSE?”
  • “This is a story! T is so in her element. Let’s GO! She’s really embraced herself.”

Other thoughts: We know Taylor can write a “based on a true story” song. She did it with “Starlight” and “The Lucky One” on Red (2012), but “the last great american dynasty” has an edge and an injection of female empowerment that those two didn’t have—not hating on Red at all, though; it’s honestly my favorite album most of the time. She’s just so tongue-in-cheek sometimes. Like the line “It must have been her fault his heart gave out”—I can just hear the eye roll. Pair that with, “She had a marvelous time ruining everything,” and it’s just RebekahHarkness giving a big middle finger to all the mid-century New England socialites. And then Taylor buys her house! I love how in this song and “The Lucky One” Taylor breaks the fourth wall and aligns herself with something “negative.” Here, she sees herself in the outcast, gold-digging widow who upset her neighbors’ fragile sensibilities. In “The Lucky One,” she compares herself to a superstar who got hounded by the media and gave it all up for a quiet life. And I think that speaks volumes about what Taylor’s experienced in her career, but the big difference between the two songs—and something I just absolutely love—is that on Red, she comes to the conclusion that giving it all up and running away wouldn’t be so bad—“And it took some time, but I understand it now”—but in “last great american dynasty,” she basically says, “Haters gonna hate” and doesn’t let what anyone says dictate how she lives her life. (I also saw a tweet joking that this song was written to appease the ghost of Rebekah Harkness who still haunts the property, and I low-key love that idea, too.)





Song: “exile (ft. bon iver)”

Rating: 6.75/10
Favorite line: “All this time, we always walked a very thin line / You didn’t even hear me out (You didn’t even hear me out) / You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)

Initial observations:

  • “he’s got a little bit of a country twang”
  • “her voice sounds so good all stripped back”
  • “this piano is <3 <3”
  • “DAMN IS IT GOOD!”
  • “kinda some ‘The Last Time’ vibes”

Other thoughts: I know based on my extensive time on Twitter that my “exile” opinions won’t be well-received by some, so let me start by saying that the song is beautiful. They both sound so good on it, and I love their voices together. Lyrically, I find it a little repetitive, and I feel like it could be about 30 seconds to a minute shorter. I know I said it gave me some “The Last Time” vibes, but I think “exile” is better, and I especially love the tension in the lyrics where Bon Iver says, “You never gave a warning sign” at the same time Taylor sings, “I gave so many signs.” Like, that moment is brilliant, and I feel like it really encompasses the crumbling of a relationship where two people weren’t communicating with each other. So, yes, I think this is haunting and beautiful and genius at times, but it’s not my fave on the album. (Also, full disclosure, I always want him to say, “we always walked a very fine line,” but I think that’s because I’ve listened to the Harry Styles album too much.)





Song: “my tears ricochet”

Rating: 7.25/10
Favorite line: “Cursing my name, wishing I stayed / You turned into your worst fears / And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain / Crossing out the good years”

Initial observations:

  • “haunting opening, like a ghost choir”
  • “when she drops down on ‘ricochet,’ that HIT ME”
  • “THE BRIDGE!”
  • “stolen lullabies = sobbing”

Other thoughts: Okay, I had really high expectations going into this one. It’s a track 5 song, so it’s joining the ranks of “Cold As You,” “White Horse,” “Dear John,” “All Too Well,” “All You Had To Do Was Stay,” “Delicate,” and “The Archer”, and Jack Antanoff tweeted that this song and “august” are two of his favorite things he and Taylor have ever worked on. …and I was a little disappointed on the first listen-through. It just didn’t grab me the way the first few songs did. I don’t know if the metaphor didn’t click or what. I talked with a lot of friends about the actual metaphor “look at how my tears ricochet,” and my initial thought was, “What else ricochets? Bullets.” So I was reading it as, “Look at how my tears/pain will bounce around and affect other people. Look at how my pain will hurt you.” And that interpretation can still be applied to this really cool theory I found on Instagram about how the song is all about Taylor’s relationship with Scott Borchetta, Scooter Braun, and Big Machine Records. It’s a super good theory, and you should definitely look at it. Seeing those connections made me appreciate “my tears ricochet” more, because I loathe what Scott and Scooter did, and I’m glad they're suffering the consequences.




Song: “mirrorball”

Rating: 8/10
Favorite line: “And I’m still a believer, but I don’t know why / I’ve never been a natural / I just try, try, try”

Initial observations:

  • “Prom slow dance at the end of an 80s movie vibes”
  • “Is this the first love song we get???”
  • “tightrope!! trapeze!!” (honestly not sure where I was going with that note; maybe I liked the precariousness of those metaphors, the fragility of them)
  • “still kinda sad with that last line (The last line is “I’ll show you every version of yourself tonight”); like, are those good versions? Are we about so see all the bad, too?”

Other thoughts: There are some technical things about this song that I just adore. Her soft little high notes on “tallest,” “tiptoes,” “highest,” and “heels” to mirror the words are especially sweet. And I love how fragile this song is. This is the first song that doesn’t seem to be about a relationship that’s over, but it’s also a song about trying to get someone’s attention. Now, on one hand, that’s lovely. Like the lines, “Hush, when no one is around, my dear / You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes / Spinning in my highest heels, love / Shining just for you” are very endearing, because she’s saying, “It’s not all for show. It’s not an act. I want you.” But there’s also this little bit of desperation, like she needs this person to love her back, and that’s kind of sad. But I love the tightrope and trapeze imagery, because I think it really encapsulates how delicate the situation is. It reminds me of when she explained the concept behind “Out of the Woods”: “It was a relationship where you never feel like you're standing on solid ground. That kind of a feeling brings on excitement but also extreme anxiety and a frantic feeling of wondering, endless questions.” And I think she evokes those same feelings here, but in a softer way. “Out of the Woods” is her screaming those feelings after the relationship is over; “mirrorball” is her whispering those feelings into her pillow at night when no one else can hear. (full quote and article here, and here's Taylor talking about the song before her performance at the Grammy Museum.)



Song: “seven”

Rating: 9.5/10
Favorite line: "And just like a folk song / Our love will be passed on"

Initial observations:

  • “Pennsylvania—childhood reflection, maybe?”
  • “HER VOICE!!!”
  • “Passed down like folk songs / the love lasts so long <3 <3”
  • “darker side of ‘Mary’s Song’—no rose-colored glasses, but not said, either, just grown up”
  • “Is it about a girl? Braids and ‘pack your dolls’”

Other thoughts: I loved “seven” the moment I heard it. It’s not one that I’ll just pop on to listen to for fun, but I definitely think it showcases the growth she’s had since her first album and that's worth talking about. I immediately thought of “Mary’s Song” (maybe my favorite song on her debut album), because both songs trace an innocent young love. If “Mary’s Song” is the small town fairytale that we’re brought up idolizing, “seven” is the less-than-perfect reality that’s probably more common: the two are close in childhood but grow apart, leading the narrator to say, “I can’t recall your face.” The other child, it’s revealed, potentially has a bad home life, though it seems that the narrator is young and too naïve to realize it. The lines “And I’ve been meaning to tell you / I think your house is haunted / Your dad is always mad and that must be why” show that. It’s unclear whether the father’s anger is what causes the narrator to think the house is haunted or if the narrator assumes the father is mad because the house is haunted, but we can definitely read it as the former, and that certainly makes “seven” a little less saccharine than “Mary’s Song,” where the only tension comes from the lines, “take me back to the time we had our very first fight / the slamming of doors ‘stead of kissin’ goodnight.” Another key difference is that no one gets married in “seven,” which maybe shows that marriage is no longer the baseline for a successful or meaningful relationship in Taylor’s mind. And, like, we stan that growth.



Song: “august”

Rating: 10/10
Favorite line: “And I can see us twisted in bedsheets /August sipped away like a bottle of wine” or “So much for summer love / Or saying ‘us’ / ‘Cause you weren’t mine to lose”

Initial observations:

  • “‘August sipped away like a bottle of wine’ left me BREATHLESS”
  • “This album is like the wistful side of so many of her older songs” (I was thinking of “Mine” when I wrote this, because the “you weren’t mine to lose” line gave me actual chills)
  • “‘Remember when I pulled up and said, ‘Get in the car’? NEED TO REVISIT THIS BRIDGE; THERE’S A SHIFT I WANT TO THINK ABOUT” (I’m writing a paper on driving in Taylor Swift songs, so whenever she mentions a car or driving, I get real excited. And, in this case, her driving and giving that declarative statement is the only time she has any explicit control in this situation; otherwise, she’s just waiting for her lover to call or watching as time and their love slip away…and that fits perfectly into the pattern I’ve noticed across her songs.)

Other thoughts: This song is perfection. The music, the lyrics, the imagery, they way she sings “you weren’t mine to lose.” I know this song is called “august,” but it gives me chills. I might name my firstborn son after this song; that’s how much I love it. This is the first song I think about when people ask about my favorite song on the album. It stuck out the first time I listened and every time since. It’s one of the songs I get excited about hearing. It’s a little more up-tempo than songs like “exile” and “epiphany,” and I am, traditionally, a happy, bubbly pop music girl (so, Lover is my jam, and “Paper Rings,” in particular is the pinnacle of my taste in music), so the beat of “august” is appealing to me. But I think her imagery is what makes this song so good. It’s so relatable in the sense that who hasn’t felt August (or some other month) “slip away into a moment in time”? Who hasn’t come to realize that, at one point or another, they were living on borrowed time that wasn’t’ really theirs to begin with? And, wow, this song just brings back memories of high school. Now, I didn’t date in high school, so I never cancelled plans for a boy, but I remember being invested in relationships that were, in retrospect, one-sided, with me caring more for them than they did for me and not seeing that until years later, and you can feel that same kind of reflection in “august.” I’m sorry, it’s just brilliant. Please go love it.



Song: “this is me trying”

Rating: 9.5/10
Favorite line: “They told me all my cages were mental / So I got wasted like all my potential”

Initial observations:

  • About the title: “WOW PAINFUL”
  • “pulled the car off the road” (again, for my driving paper lol)
  • “fear of coming back—a note to the fans? Between 89 and rep?”
  • “big follow-up to ‘Afterglow,’ same energy”
  • “‘So I got wasted like all my potential’--DAMN”
  • “that violin is … wow

Other thoughts: The only reason this song doesn’t get a perfect 10 is probably because it hits too close to home. In the same way that middle-school me latched on to “TiedTogether with a Smile” in her darkest moments, mid-twenties me is going to come back to “this is me trying” when I need a good cry. And can we talk about the lines, “Pulled the car off the road to the lookout / Could have followed my fears all the way down”? That’s the same energy as “the water’s high / you’re jumping into it,” and it’s not a happy energy, that’s for sure—it’s despondent. And I think this song resonates so strongly with people—especially the “former gifted kids who are now burnt out” demographic—is because, like “Afterglow,” it acknowledges her own faults and flaws and emphasizes the process of trying/healing instead just the end result. I know, for me, I’m always focused on the product—the finished paper, getting the job, settling down—and I don’t always take the time to appreciate the journey and all the work it took to get there. So “this is me trying” is that song I’ll sob along to when I feel like I’m not being as successful as I think people expect me to be, and Taylor can just tell me “at least [you’re] trying.” It really is a beautiful song that I’ll come back to for years.



Song: “illicit affairs”

Rating: 7/10
Favorite line: “And you know damn well / For you I would ruin myself / A million little times”

Initial observations:

  • “in love with the ‘twinkling’ guitar”
  • “the high note on ‘down’? ICONIC” (I think I read somewhere once that going up on a word like “down” is the equivalent of seeing the word “red” written in “blue,” but someone who knows music theory please confirm/explain)
  • “Wow, someone write a TV show around this song”
  • “this one’s kinda mad…but soft. I LIKE”
  • “‘For you I would ruin myself a million little times’…I’m speechless”

Other thoughts: I think I actually love the music on this track more than the lyrics, which is a rarity for a Taylor Swift song. The guitar sounds like rain on the pavement at night and really creates the ambiance of an affair shrouded in secrets, and had she done this song on piano, it wouldn’t be nearly as good. So, kudos to you, Taylor, you musical genius. The first time I listened to this song, I immediately wanted a TV show about these characters, and I can literally picture this film noir setting with foggy streets and rain glistening in lamplight and a cabin off the beaten path where the lovers rendezvous. And how can you not love phrases like “dwindling mercurial high” and “look at this godforsaken mess that you made me”? But, that being said, I think this song, for me, is the most obviously a fictionalized story, and I’m not as emotionally invested in it—which is weird, because other songs are more clearly not about Taylor, but they still feel more relatable, so I’m sure that it’s just my own personal barriers that keep me from rating this song higher­. Still, lines like “they lie and they lie and they lie / a million little times” tug at my heartstrings, and that’s just a testament to Taylor’s songwriting.



Song: “invisible string”

Rating: 10/10
Favorite line: “Time, mystical time / Cutting me open, then healing me fine”or “The string that pulled me out of all the wrong arms / Right into that dive bar”

Initial observations:

  • “The ‘Time, curious time / Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs’ line made my jaw drop” 
  • “HER VOICE ON THE ‘me-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee’!!!”
  • “lots of colors in this one!” (I’d also like to write a paper some day on color symbolism in Taylor’s music, and I have a running Google doc with all the instances of color use)
  • “‘Now I send their babies presents’??? JOE JONAS??” (I hope with all my heart that Lil Baby Turner-Jonas got a baby-sized cardigan!)

Other thoughts: Like I said earlier, I love her poppy love songs, and “invisible string” has BIG Lover vibes; it could be the prequel to the love story in “Paper Rings.” But, I cannot tell a lie: I had to listen to this one a few times before I loved it. Once I really listened to the lyrics, though, my own idealistic romanticism basically forced me to become obsessed. I love how she talks about time in this song. It starts out with “time, curious time” and then “time, mystical time” and then “time, wondrous time,” and just those three phrases alone shape the arc of the song; she goes from not understanding why time is doing these things to her—“cutting me open, then healing me fine”—but then coming to appreciate all she’s been through—“gave me the blues and then purple-pink skies.” And I think it’s one of her beautifully self-aware songs. When she says, “cold was the steel of my axe to grind for the boys who broke me heart / now I send their babies presents” shows that she recognizes the chips she’s had on her shoulder all these years, but now she’s growing up and letting go—stepping into the daylight, some might say. And whereas so many of the songs on folklore are full of regret and fear, “invisible string” takes those fears and reframes them with “okay, what if all these bad things happened but they were all leading me to something better?” I mean, who hasn’t met someone and thought “this was meant to be”? There are so many friends I’ve met that I statistically shouldn’t have—there were too many little coincidences and stars that had to align that it’s dizzying to think about. So, maybe there are invisible strings that connect us to certain people, some kind of predestination and higher power at work. Maybe it’s my Pisces showing, but that’s something I like to believe in.



Song: “mad woman”

Rating: 7.75/10
Favorite line: “Now I breathe flames each time I talk”

Initial observations:

  • “apparently there’s something big here [a friend warned me about this song]”
  • ‘I Did Something Bad’ vibes!”
  • “MOUTHFUCK YOU FOREVER/MOUTH ‘FUCK YOU FOREVER’”
  • “ ‘Mad’ like ‘Wonderland’—'And in the end in wonderland we both went mad’—but also ‘mad’ as in ‘angry’”
  • “I just want to unpack so much; like, she tackles so many themes that she tried to hit on in earlier songs [like ‘The Man’] but without the pop beat; this is INTENSE.”

Other thoughts: Now, in terms of “Taylor Swift feminist anthems,” I still think—perhaps somewhat controversially—that I like “The Man” better, but I’ll admit that “mad woman” is scary. When I was in high school, our band director yelled a lot, but we knew he was truly angry when he got quiet, and “mad women” has that same quiet rage that gives me chills. And, not to read too deeply into one four-letter word, but I think it’s significant that she chose to put “mad woman” before “betty,” because, while both songs include the word “fuck,” it happens first in a song about women being criticized for their emotions. It really is a milestone in Taylor’s music, because, for so long, she was painted as “America’s Sweetheart” who would most certainly never use such “foul” language, and then she gives us “mad women,” which just feels like a massive eye roll at stereotypes and her own past. It’s also very tongue-in-cheek when she says, “No one likes a mad woman,” because it’s clear to most women listening that she’s parroting back a line she’s been told before—one we’ve all heard, especially us good Southern ladies. And I would love to break down how she uses “mad” in her songs. Here, it clearly has a dual meaning, sometimes meaning “insane” and sometimes meaning “angry,” and she’s used both meanings in previous songs. For example, in “Wonderland” (a 1989 bonus track), she plays off of Alice in Wonderland with the line “And in the end in Wonderland, we both went mad,” and in “The Man” (on Lover), she says, “If I was out flashing my dollars, I’d be a bitch not a baller / They’d paint me out to be bad / So it’s okay that I’m mad.” In both “The Man” and now “mad woman,” Taylor has clearly had it up to her big blue eyes with people telling her how she’s supposed to behave, and she is over it; “mad woman” isn’t a windows-down, scream-at-the-top-of-your-lungs anthem, but it’s definitely one to play while planning your next coup d'état.



Song: “epiphany”

Rating: 9/10
Favorite line: “Crawling up the beaches now / Sir, I think he’s bleeding out” paralleled to “Hold your hand through plastic now / Doc, I think she’s crashing out”

Initial observations:

  • “ETHEREAL”
  • “ ‘RIFLE,’ ‘MOTHER’—that note!”
  • “a war song—allusion? Metaphor? For what?”
  • “Civil War and WWII”

Other thoughts: Aaaaah! The moment I heard this song, I knew it was special. The way she sings “rifle” and then “mother” just feels so folksy, it’s magical (and my dad has a thing for Civil War folk songs, so I’ve heard quite a few, actually). The morning after the album dropped, a friend of mine said, “On a second listen, ‘epiphany’ is definitely about NHS workers,” and then the next time I listened to it, I noticed the beeping that permeates the song, like a heartrate monitor in a hospital, and, needless to say, it left me speechless. I think the parallel between the war and hospital settings is brilliant, and the “hold your hand through plastic now” imagery is so evocative of scenes from inside COVID units. Comparing doctors and nurses to soldiers is so poignant, and the “with you I serve, with you I fall down” line will haunt me forever thinking about all the medical professionals who have died and will die trying to save their patients’ lives. This song makes my heart heavy, because I think we will think about the COVID-19 pandemic as a generational trauma the way that other generations have been traumatized by war; both tragedies touch everyone, directly or indirectly, and the way Taylor marries the past and present with traditional strings, piano, and artificial beeping deserves some kind of award. Honestly, “epiphany” needs to be recognized as the work of art that it is.



Song: “betty”

Rating: 8.5/10
Favorite line: But if I just showed up at your party / Would you have me? / Would you want me? / Would you tell me to go fuck myself / Or lead me to the garden?” or “She pulled up like a figment of my worst intentions”

Initial observations:

  • “YAS HARMONICA”
  • “Betty? Inez? (Blake and Ryan’s daughter)”
  • “Boy’s POV? Or friend betrayal? Or GAY?”
  • “Wow she said ‘fuck.’ What an era!!!”
  • “Narrator is ‘James’—is it a boy or Blake and Ryan’s daughter?”
  • “Coming out as bi?”
  • “MUST REPLAY”

Other thoughts: Oh, “betty,” “betty,” “betty.” An instant fave on Twitter. And it’s fascinating. Listening to this the first time was a ride, as you can probably tell by the progression of my initial comments. The aggressive “MUST REPLAY” line still holds true, by the way. Now, Taylor has stated that there are 3 songs on the album that she calls the “Teenage Love Triangle,” and those songs are “betty,” “cardigan,” and “august.” (I won’t go into explaining all the connections that prove this, but just know that “betty” is from James’ POV who cheated on Betty; “august” is from the POV of the girl he cheated with, and “cardigan” is Betty’s POV.) Taylor says in her letter to fans that folklore was inspired by images and stories, but there’s no way that “betty” won’t go down in history as an iconic queer anthem. I mean, sure, she can name drop the masculine name “James," but it’s still a woman singing a song “to” another woman, and, for that, Taylor gets all the finger snaps. Besides the story—which still has me shook, btw—I love the harmonica on this song. It’s a huge selling point, honestly. After the whole “the old Taylor is dead” moment from reputation, it’s beautiful to see her embracing that “old Taylor” again. Musically, “betty” has big debut album vibes, and that’s not a bad thing at all, especially for long-term fans, because the sometimes cheesy country music production that marked her first album is tempered here by her even-better lyrics, matured vocals, and delightful and repeated use of “fuck.” “betty” gets a high score, because even though it’s not my personal favorite, I love what it does. Also, Betty, if you’re reading this, don’t take James back. They’re a tool.


Song: “peace”

Rating: 10/10
Favorite line: “I’d give you my sunshine, give you my best / But the rain is always gonna’ come if you’re standing with me” and specifically that one time she goes “Would it be enough if I could never give you pee-eeace?” (second to last line of the song)

Initial observations:

  • “That opening guitar!”
  • “THOSE OPENING LINES—"Our coming-of-age has come and gone / Suddenly this summer, it's clear” (They speak so directly to us as a nation and all that we’ve been through this summer; these lines really hit; I felt them!)
  • “‘Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?’ Wow”
  • “‘swing for the fences’ in ‘peace’ vs ‘if you strike out and you’re crawling home’ in ‘New Year’s Day’—they seem to go together”
  • “THIS IS FOR JOE, I SWEAR, and, like, all her biggest fears for their relationship.”

Other thoughts: Another perfect song that took me a couple listens to recognize the full perfection of it. In a lot of ways, this song is this antithesis to “invisible string.” Instead of, “What if we were always meant to be together?” this song asks, “What if I was always going to mess this up?” There’s also the connection between the line “I’d swing for the fences” vs “if you strike out and you’re crawling home” in “NewYear’s Day” (from reputation). Like, “peace” is so much about her anxieties of all the ways her relationship could go wrong, and “New Year’s Day” is about being confident enough in her relationship to want the good and the bad, and I love that there are paralleling lyrics that kind of mesh the two together, because, of course, Taylor would have anxieties about her relationship given how she’s always been berated for her dating life. Also, who doesn’t worry about their relationship sometimes? We all have insecurities, and no one wants to be hurt or to hurt someone they love. Despite all her fears, though, it’s clear that there’s a lot of love here: “All these people say love's for show [like the so-called “PR stunt” relationships with Harry Styles and Tom Hiddleston] / But I would die for you in secret.” You cannot convince me that this song isn’t her message to Joe. She knows that dating “Taylor Swift” comes with its own unique problems, and she’s even saying that he might not ever know peace while he’s with her because of how famous she is, but she wants him to know that she really is in love with him, cameras or no cameras. And, like, wow. That’s just beautiful. I’m obsessed with song and with their love. She deserves happiness.



Song: “hoax”

Rating: 7/10
Favorite line: “My barren land / I am ash from your fire”

Initial observations:

  • “PIANO <3 <3 <3”
  • “‘Your faithless love’s the only hoax I believe in’—that hurts”
  • “‘your sleight of hand’ vs ‘all eyes on you, my magician’ in ‘…So it Goes’—they seem to go together, but not sure how yet”

Other thoughts: Usually, Taylor’s albums end with an uplifting song: "Change" (Fearless), "Long Live" (Speak Now), “Begin Again” (Red), “Clean”(1989), “New Year’s Day” (reputation), “Daylight” (Lover), but “hoax” is so deeply, deeply sad. I stopped breathing the first time I heard, “Stood on the cliffside screaming ‘Give me a reason’.” I was like, “‘Give me a reason’ to jump?!?! Taylor, what?! No! Ah!!” This song is despondent, and I’ve used that word to describe more than one song on this album. And this is the literal note that the standard album ends on. It’ll be interesting to see if “the lakes” changes the tone of the ending at all, but, as far as last tracks go, “hoax” takes listeners to a completely different place, which I think works for folklore. There’s something mystical and magical about a “hoax,” just like there’s something mystical and magical about this whole album. Taylor even says that, in stories that become folklore, “The lines between fantasy and reality blur and the boundaries between truth and fiction become almost indiscernible.” (See her full letter on Twitter for more!) So, ending on a song called “hoax” just feels poetic. And maybe the connections between hoaxes and magic and blurring lines helps me connect the themes of “hoax” and “…SoIt Goes” (from reputation). In "hoax," Taylor sings, “My best laid plans / Your sleight of hand / My barren land / I am ash from your fire.” The “best laid plans” line evokes the Robert Burns poem, “To A Mouse”: “The best laid plans of Mice and Men / often go awry” (this is also where John Steinbeck famously got his title for his novel Of Mice and Men (1937)), so we’re conditioned to assume the worst about Taylor’s own “best laid plans.” Next comes the line “your sleight of hand,” which immediately made me think of “All eyes on you, my magician” from “…So It Goes,” which describes a hot and cold relationship where both parties have done their fair share of hurting the other but keep falling back in bed together. So, what I’m learning from TayTay is don’t date a magician.




All in all, there is no bad song on folklore, only songs that resonate in the very core of my heart and soul and songs that don't quite leave me speechless but are still beautiful. This is a no skip album, because it's a story, and to skip a song would be to skip a chapter of this stunning book Taylor Swift has gifted us with. So, go put on a cardigan and grab a mug of tea (or maybe a bottle of wine). We've got feelings to feel.

May the rosé  always flow with your chosen family and may you, too, have a marvelous time ruining everything,

Katie

Monday, July 27, 2020

Captain's Log, Day 21: "this is me trying" To Tell You That It's Not A "hoax"--Taylor Swift Now Has 8 Albums, Not "seven," And folklore Could Be "the 1" You Love Most Of All!


Date: July 27, 2020
Time of post: 3:25 AM
Quarantine Day: 124
Last Song I Listened To: “this is me trying" by Taylor Swift
Last Person I Communicated With: Snapchatted Jacque (because she’s the only person awake at this hour)
Last Thing I Ate: double chocolate cheesecake with dark chocolate gelato
Last Thing I Read: a draft of a short story that Jacque Boucher wrote and sent to me!
Current Mood: dreamy because I’m thinking about Taylor Swift
One Thing I’ve Accomplished Today: I wrote this blog!
One Thing I Want To Accomplish Today: maybe work on some crafts with Mom
One Reason I’m Stressed Today: moderately concerned about COVID because it seems to be creeping closer to my family
One Reason I’m Happy Today: I got to read Jacque’s short story!

Dear Apocalypsers,

It’s another long one, folks, so buckle up! By now, you might have heard—Taylor Swift dropped a surprise album on the 24th.

It was, like, kind of a big deal.

So, funny story about my folklore experience: I didn’t sleep the night before the announcement. It wasn’t intentional. I slept until 3PM on the 22nd (because I was awake at 3:30AM with when my mom’s blood sugar dropped), so I couldn’t fall asleep that night. We had to have Duck at the vet at 8AM on the 23rd, so I knew I’d need to be up around 6:45AM, and when I still hadn’t fallen asleep by 4AM, I decided it would be easier to power through than to sleep for 2 ½ hours. So I did some work, and, then, at 7AM, my phone exploded.

Savannah Winkler (bless her heart, I don’t know why she was awake, but she was) sent me Taylor’s first “folklore aesthetic” post on Instagram with a message like, “She just posted 5 of these in a row! A new era??” And then I got the notifications from Taylor’s Instagram and Twitter.
I cried. I walked into my parents’ singsong-yelling, “Fam-jam! This is not a drill! Taylor Swift is dropping a new album at midnight!”

I highly recommend this whole album, but my personal favorites are "cardigan,"
"seven," "august," "invisible string," and "peace."


My mother, who was awake, but is about as much a morning person as I am on a regular day, was not amused. But she listened to me jabber about T. Swift the entire day. I mean, the entire day (with the exception of the 2-hour nap I took that afternoon). And she’s continued to listen to me talk ceaselessly about Taylor Swift whenever I pause listening to the new album and emerge from my room for meals.

Basically, my mother is a saint. She deserves some kind of award, I will forever be grateful for her.
So, to give Brenda Cline a reprieve, I’m here to tell you all about my #folklorefeelings. I’ve had two group chats, multiple text message threads, and one Zoom call devoted to this album, and I’m still noticing new things every time I listen to it! I’m not sure it’ll ever be my favorite of her albums, but I think it’s her best one so far, and there’s so much I want to say about it.

(Side note: Taylor doesn’t have a bad album. Each one is so important to me, and there truly is a Taylor Swift song for every occasion. My taste in music is like my personality—big and upbeat and poppy and sweet—and this album is the opposite. But it’s beautiful like fine art or poetry or a gothic manor on the foggy moors or a forgotten cottage in the woods that’s been overtaken by flowers and ivy. It’s definitely a specific mood, and that’s okay. I will love it forever just like I do all her albums.

Side side note: I made Pinterest mood boards for each T. Swift albums, if you're curious as to how my mind interprets her music.)

The album is called folklore (yes, all lowercase). It’s her 8th album, and it’s an indie/alternative/folk album—so different from anything she’s done before. She wrote it all during quarantine. Literally, start to finish, in, like 3 months. And, I mean, I’ve done some small things, but I haven’t written 17 songs, directed a music video (see below), and designed a line of merch. I honestly can’t say enough how lucky I feel to be alive at the same time as an artist like Taylor Swift. If she doesn’t go down in history with the likes of Elvis Presley and Frank Sinatra and Stevie Nicks and Dolly Parton, I will personally haunt some important music mogul until they pay her the respect she’s due.



But that’s just the thing—Taylor’s never gotten the respect she deserves, and I don’t just say that because I’m a fan. She talks in Miss Americana about how women in music are expected to reinvent themselves every few years so they “stay interesting.” I mention in an earlier post that she’s always gotten a lot of flack for writing about her relationships and even name-dropping people in songs (which she honestly doesn’t do negatively most times) whereas her male counterparts don’t get that same criticism.

And, in that vein, Noelle sent me this tweet earlier of someone making fun of Taylor’s writing. It says, “Working on ‘Taylor Swift phrases’” and it has “examples” like “rusty sun-kissed carousel apology,” “champagne-dusted barn door whispers,” “wine-drunk porch swing bus stop fights,” and “invisible neon coffee mug high.” Now, I’m not saying that Taylor Swift has to be your favorite musical artist—my best friend still refers to her as “that blonde chick you like” as a joke because she didn’t know about her until she met me in undergrad—but I think you should respect what she’s achieved in her career. She’s not popular for no reason. She doesn’t have 10 Grammys (2 for Album of the Year) for no reason. folklore didn’t sell 1.3 million copies in the first 24 hours with no promo for no reason. And I hope Noelle doesn’t mind, but I totally agree with what she said in our chat: “It’s clearly sexist, because we never do that to men writing more ‘sparkly’ figurative language.” We don’t tease them. We canonize them. Hamilton is a cultural phenomenon, and it has lines like, “If Washington isn't gon' listen / To disciplined dissidents, this is the difference / This kid is out” (Jefferson in “Washington On Your Side”) and “And the gossip in the New York City is insidious / And Alexander is penniless” (Angelica in “Satisfied”) and “Yo, I'm a tailor's apprentice / And I got y'all knuckleheads in loco parentis” (Hercules Mulligan in “My Shot”). Lin Manuel-Miranda won a Tony for writing those lines. I’m sorry you’re throwing a fit about Taylor using words like “clandestine,” “gauche,” and “mercurial” on this new album. Don’t be jealous; green isn’t your color.

In her letter to fans talking about the inspiration for the album, Taylor talks about the choice of title, saying:
“A tale that becomes folklore is one that is passed down and whispered around. Sometimes even sung about. The lines between fantasy and reality blur and the boundaries between truth and diction become almost indiscernible. Speculation, over time, becomes fact. Myths, ghost stories, and fables. Fairytales and parables. Gossip and legend. Someone’s secrets written in the sky for all to behold.”

That’s been Taylor’s career. She’s been talked about and belittled and underestimated. Tabloids have spread rumors. Fans have formed images of her in her head, and fans of her more famous exes have formed other images. So, even though folklore is meant to highlight her as a storyteller and these songs aren’t about her personal experiences, I’d argue that this album is simultaneously all about Taylor, because we’ll be talking about her long after she’s gone and passing down her songs for generations.

Okay, now for the music.
My favorite thing I've ever tweeted, tbh.


As I listened through folklore the first time, I took notes on each song, because I knew I’d never be able to hear them for the first time again, and I wanted to try to preserve that moment. And, as it turns out, that “moment” is a lot of me writing “oh damn,” “wow,” “HER VOICE OMG,” and “I need to replay this.” The word “breathless” came up a lot, too. I was literally obsessed with it from the first minute.

And then my Nerd Brain activated. Like I’ve said before, I’ve been listening to Taylor Swift for 14 years now. I’ve stuck by her through her country phase and her “white feminist” stage, and I’ve seen her blossom into her new era of political activism and killer music. I’ve watched her grow, and I’m proud of her in a way that’s probably strange for someone I’ve never met. But, because I have been so invested in her music for so long, I noticed some things even on that first listen through of folklore: she revisits quite a few themes and scenarios from her debut album.

And I want to write a paper. Eventually, I’d like to write a book.

A little over a year ago, I stumbled upon an article by Tara Chittenden called “In my rearview mirror: Female teens’ prospective remembering of future romantic relationships through the lyrics in Taylor Swift songs,” and I was fascinated by it. But it was published in 2012, the same year that Taylor’s fourth studio album, Red, was released. Taylor’s now had four more albums, changed record labels, and has down a lot of personal growing (as one does between the ages of 16 and 30), and I think it’s time to update Chittenden’s perspective.

All I have so far is a few pages of notes, but, basically, I want to look at “Mary’s Song” from her debut album and “seven” from folklore and see how Taylor treats young love in both songs. The two have similar settings and both follow the stories of childhood relationships. I won’t say too much here, because I don’t want to jinx myself, but, in “Mary’s Song,” Taylor tells the story of a presumably heterosexual couple throughout their lives, from when they meet at ages 7 and 9 to dating as teenagers to getting married and raising their children in the house where they met. Conversely, “seven” is about a similarly intense relationship, but it’s not explicitly clear if the children are childhood sweethearts or just friends and, if there is a romance, it may be a queer one. But one of my favorite things is that “Mary’s Song” depicts staying in your hometown and getting married to your high school sweetheart as the ideal happy ending whereas the narrator in “seven” fantasizes about running off to India and reassuring the other that their love will be passed on like folk songs; marriage isn’t a perquisite for their love to matter. And I just thought that was a really cool shift for her music. (Especially when you think about how one of her biggest songs of her early career was “Love Story,” which also ends with a wedding.)



I don’t have any formal cultural studies training, but I can close-read the heck out of a passage, and, thankfully, Taylor Swift’s lyrics are basically works of literature, and I can’t wait to dig into the lyrics and start fleshing out my analysis. I’ve even reached out to my old undergrad roommate (hey, Jennie!) to talk to her about collabing on this paper. She majored in music, and I’m really interested to see if the music reflects the same growth as the lyrics do. I think incorporating a music theory approach is something that other people aren’t doing in “English papers.” Plus, intersectional scholarship is so cool. I think everyone should work intersectionally as often as they can. I wouldn’t even say that what I want to do is a traditional English paper. But I’m not too concerned with putting a label on it right now. I’m excited about academics for the first time in weeks, and I just want to write now.



About 6 weeks ago, I wrote that I wasn’t sure where my scholarship would go after I decided I needed to take a step back from Harry Potter after J.K. Rowling’s transphobic tweets—maybe this is it. Maybe I could be a “Taylor Swift scholar,” or at least a “pop music scholar.” There’s not a lot out there on Taylor’s music; most of the articles I’ve seen have been sociology papers on her “performance of feminism,” but we study poetry, so why not song lyrics?

I’m not sure when Jennie and I would ultimately try to publish this paper or where, but as Taylor wrote in her post announcing folklore, “My gut is telling me that if you make something you love, you should just put it out into the world.”

And Taylor’s never led me astray before.

I usually say “May the odds be ever in our favor” here, but I’d like to change it up this time, with a line from folklore:

Katie