Captain's Log, Day 26: This Track-by-Track Review Will Go On for "evermore"--Part 1: "willow," "champagne problems," "gold rush," "'tis the damn season," and "tolerate it"

Date: December 21, 2020

Time of post: 4:20PM

Quarantine Day: 271

Last Song I Listened To: “tolerate it” by Taylor Swift

Last Person I Communicated With: group text with Jacque and Mikayla

Last Thing I Ate: Jack's chicken biscuit

Last Thing I Read: something a friend wrote (that’s all I can say)

Current Mood: content

One Thing I’ve Accomplished Today: finished this blog

One Thing I Want To Accomplish Today: probably help Mom bake Christmas cookies

One Reason I’m Stressed Today: Aren't we all perpetually stressed about COVID?

One Reason I’m Happy Today: I currently have three cats (Minnie, Toothless, and TomTom) napping on my bed with me.

 

Dear Apocalypsers,

I'm grateful for evermore; really, I am. But releasing an album 3 days before I was meant to drive home for Christmas (a very busy and involved holiday in my family), means that I haven't had the time to both process the album and write up all my feelings on it. And once I did start writing, I couldn't be stopped. I literally wrote 1000 words about "'tis the damn season."

So, I've broken this post up into 3 posts, each one discussing 5 of the 15 songs from the standard album. For fun and posterity, I've included my handwritten notes from my first listen-through. ("I shouldn't be surprised you're taking notes," Dustin said to me when he saw my pen and notebook during our Zoom call.) I've also given some brief connections between the evermore song, other evermore and folklore songs, and any other Taylor Swift songs, because she really seems to be revisiting ideas from older songs in a lot of these tracks. Every once in a while, I even throw in a fun conspiracy theory because I can.

Now, I by no means am claiming that my connections are correct or that the connections I've made are the only connections. I listened to her entire discography on my drive home, and I tried to make mental notes when things stood out, but I was also trying to not to cry and/or crash.

So, if you're ready for a more-detailed Taylor Swift journey than you've ever been on, let's go! The rest of this post will discuss the first 5 tracks: "willow," "champagne problems," "gold rush," "'tis the damn season," and "tolerate it."

I took "real-time" notes while doing my initial listen-through of the album, so here they are in all their shorthand, unfinished thought glory.

Track #1: “willow”

Favorite line(s): “I come back stronger than a 90s trend”

Initial thoughts and feelings: I watched the music video first, and I was floored by it! The white dress and mandolin echoed her “Mean”music video so painfully—because that’s the scene where she gets stuck and can’t get to her love. The “‘Mean’ scene” is also where we get the iconic, “I come back stronger than a 90s trend” line, and that smirk to the camera is art! And I love that we’re starting to see her acknowledge her own past accomplishments. Her comeback with “Look What You Made Me Do” is going to be a historic pop music moment. It’s iconic—and the way she went about deleting and recreating her whole social media aesthetic ahead of the video dropping is also iconic—and I love that she knows that and is embracing it, even if it’s in a kind of cheeky way. And then the witches!!! I would join Taylor Swift’s coven in a heartbeat! I’m so glad that she has more input in her music videos now, because she’s legitimately brilliant. The different scenes that she walks in the “willow” music video represent different songs from folklore: the two kids in the tent are “seven”; what I’ve been calling the “‘Mean’ scene” is “mirrorball” (also the scene that represents how she feels about celebrity—trapped and on display); the witches represent “mad woman” (“women like hunting witches, too”), and the “exile” reference—which didn’t come as readily to me, honestly—could be a few different things. The opening scene (which is exactly the same as the “cardigan” music video) could reference the lyric “I think I’ve seen this film before.” Her escape from the glass cage of fame could reference the lyric “So I’m leaving out the side door,” and there’s something about the end of the witch scene where Taylor is walking away and her love interest pulls off his mask that reminds me of “exile”—just the whole watching your love walk away thing. And, of course, there’s the “single thread of gold” tying them together the whole time. It’s like we got a bonus “invisible string” music video, too!

Top: a scene from Taylor Swift's "Mean" music video from her album Speak Now (2010)
Bottom: a scene from the "willow" music video from her album evermore (2020)

I love the guitar in this song. It gives the song a wistful, almost fantasy-like vibe. I want to be a fairy dancing in the woods casting morally gray love spells on beautiful men just for the heck of it. The music also reminds me a lot of “Safe andSound,” which is another wistful, woodsy folk-ish song. I think “willow” does a great job of leading us into another chapter of Taylor’s fantasy world of characters and stories, and given that evermore, I’d argue, is even more fictionalized than folklore, it feels like a good gateway into this magical world.

Connection to other songs on folklore & evermore:

“cardigan”: As we know by now, Taylor released a cardigan as part of her folklore merch and as a tribute to her lead single “cardigan.” The cardigan—which, I did buy, and I love so much—has 3 stars on each elbow as a reference to the lyric “You drew stars around my scars / and now I’m bleeding.” In “willow,” then, we get the line, “Show me the places where the others gave you scars.” I don’t know if the implication is that the narrator wants to draw stars around those scars, but I definitely can’t hear the word “scar” without thinking about “stars” ever again.

“hoax”: In the same vein as “cardigan,” “hoax” also references scars in the line “You know it still hurts underneath these scars from when they pulled me apart,” so, in “willow,” her love’s scars could be from a similar pulling apart.

Track #2: “champagne problems”

Favorite line(s): “Your mom's ring in your pocket / My picture in your wallet / Your heart was glass, I dropped it ” or “You had a speech, you're speechless / Love slipped beyond your reaches / And I couldn't give a reason” or "Sometimes you just don't the answer til someone's on their knees and asks ya"

Initial thoughts and feelings: Well, I have some strangely personal connections to this song, but since it's about a close friend, I won't share them on the very public Internet. But just know that as soon as I saw what this song was about, I immediately thought of her. There was definitely some screaming involved.

I will, however, relate a story from 20 or so years ago that has subconsciously shaped my life. I have a vivid memory of being around 6 or so and asking my mom, "If a boy asks you to marry him, do you have to say 'yes'?" And my mom, already raising a strong-minded, independent feminist, was like, "No. But usually that's something two people talk about before it happens." Cue "champagne problems," where it doesn't look like they had that conversation.

Me hearing the line
"Your mom's ring in your pocket"
for the first time, probably

Y'all. This might be one of Taylor's saddest songs. From the references to mental illness--""This dorm was once a madhouse" / I made a joke, "Well, it's made for me" and "'What a shame she's fucked in the head' they said"--to the narrator's sadness at rejecting her lover. I'm going to forever be thinking about the lines "And I couldn't give a reason" and "Sometimes you just don't the answer until someone's on their knees and asks ya." It's not like her now-ex did anything wrong; she just couldn't say "yes." And that's so painful to me--that some things just don't work, and there's not really a reason. I also think that one of my biggest fears in life would be someone proposing to me and suddenly realizing that that wasn't what I wanted. 

There's something about this album that just feels like it could be set in my hometown. Something about the "hometown skeptics" gossiping about the rejection and making fun of mental illness and the dorms being decorated after it all. I don't know what it is, but evermore is a "small town album"-- even more so than her debut album. 

A friend recently asked me what I think about when I hear Taylor Swift songs about breakups and exes, because I don't have any experience with that--and it's a valid question. It helps that I'm really empathetic, but I usually think about friends who have gone through these things. Not having firsthand experience really doesn't deter me much. Sometimes, though, I hone in on one or two lines that do fit my life, but in a different way. For instance, I will never get over the lines, "How evergreen our group of friends / Don't think we'll say that word again / And soon they'll have the nerve to / Deck the halls that we once walked through." Living in a college town has always felt very transitory; people would always come and go, but I would be always be here. Then I went to college in my hometown, and I felt like I had an even deeper claim to the city and the school--until I left, too--and then life just kept going and what had been mine for 22 years cycled through to another group of people, and it almost felt like it wasn't ever really mine to begin with. And I made incredible friends in college, friends that I swore I'd have forever; if you had asked me, say, sophomore year, I would have sworn we were evergreen. And that's not always the case. I still talk to most of the individually on occasion. A couple of them regularly. But we're not the unit we once were. And the another group of friends probably lives in our dorms room, never knowing about the nights we stayed up until 3AM contemplating life or finishing term papers. It's kind of hard to cope with the idea that maybe we were transitory, too. 

So that's a fun example of how I can relate to Taylor songs that I have absolutely no real-life connection to.

Other T. Swift songs it evokes:

"New Year's Day" (reputation, 2017): The Internet has already mashed these two songs up, and I'm MAD ABOUT IT. I get it. The piano is very similar. I made a note of that on my first listen-through. But do not corrupt my sweet, innocent, lovestruck "New Year's Day" with your heartbreaking "champagne problems." I'm aggressive about this. "New Year's Day" is about wanting the glitz and glamour and good parts of relationships and being willing to do the hard stuff, too, and "champagne problems" is just...sad. I don't want them together. I am a toddler, and these songs are two different foods on my plate--they shouldn't touch.

"Tim McGraw" (Taylor Swift, 2006): The last time Taylor specifically mentions a Chevy truck was in her debut single: "Just a boy in a Chevy truck that had a tendency of gettin' stuck on backroads at night." And then she brings the brand back in "champagne problems": "Your Midas touch on the Chevy door / November flush and your flannel cure." Now, this is either a clever ad for the Midas auto service chain or a reference to the Midas myth and how her love could turn even the worst things (like an old Chevy that maybe got stuck on backroads) into something good--and, like Midas, this story has a tragic ending.

My most ridiculous conspiracy theory about this song: Quite simply, it's that the boy from "Tim McGraw" reads the letter left on his doorstep, and they get back together and date throughout college, only to become the couple from "champagne problems." Conversely, you could set "Tim McGraw" after the events of "champagne problems," and then the lines, "But in a box beneath my bed is a letter that you never read from three summers back" could be about the proposal, and all the "When you think Tim McGraw, I hope you think my favorite song / The one we danced to all night long, the moon like a spotlight on the lake" could definitely parallel to "I dropped your hand while dancing." You're welcome for that pain.

My initial thoughts on Tracks 3-5

Track #3: “gold rush”

Favorite line(s): “I don’t like that falling feels like flying til the bone crush” or “My mind turns your life into folklore”

Initial thoughts and feelings: Can you say “relatable”? “gold rush” is a daydream montage straight out of a teen movie…or my middle school diary. I picture her walking the crowded streets of New York (post-COVID), bumping into a beautiful stranger, and in the space of a few seconds, Taylor daydreams about their whole life together, only to realize that he’s literally walked away. When I first listened, I was skeptical about the opening lines; I wasn’t sure what the vibes were going to be, but then it got “boppier,” and I immediately recognized it as a Jack Antanoff tune—it’s super catchy in the way that the Taylor x Jack collabs are, and I think it’s one that people will really gravitate to even as the album ages. I think the dreaminess of the intro and outro work so well to transition the listener (and narrator) in and out of the daydream (almost like the transition music from Hannah Montana), and I think the pep and bop of the verses and choruses really reflect the excitement of the fantasy. I mean, who hasn’t casually noticed a stranger and subsequently planned out your entire lives together? Oh, wait, just me? Is this another Pisces thing?


And the lyrics: "everybody wants you / but I don't like a gold rush." I'm thinking about the actual gold rush when people flocked to the West Coast, and it was frenzied and chaotic and dangerous, and most people didn't actually find the riches that were supposedly there. And that's not what this narrator wants. She doesn't want to be caught up in something just because everyone else is, especially if it may end up being "fool's gold" (if I could extend the gold metaphor a little). That's why she snaps herself out of the daydream. I think we're all guilty of talking ourselves out of a crush because we're a little bit afraid of it--and that probably is for the best most of the time; like, I don't think many people have honestly missed out on the love of their lives just because they decided not to pursue someone for whatever reason (because love is a team effort and takes two people working together and communicating with each other, so you shouldn't be the only one pursuing it)

In a YouTube chat leading up to the premiere of "willow," Taylor answered some fan questions, including telling us that "gold rush" is Jack Antanoff's favorite song on evermore.

Connection to other songs on folklore & evermore:

*Okay, she’s used “gold/golden” a lot since the reputation era—“you left your mark on me, a golden tattoo” (“Dress”); “my love had been frozen, deep blue, but you painted me golden” (“DancingWith Our Hands Tied”); “I once believed love would be burning red, but it’s golden like daylight” (“Daylight”); “one single thread of gold tied me to you” (“invisible string”), just to name a few moments—so I’m not going to reference each of those songs; just know it’s a continuing trend.* 

“evermore”: The ending track is painfully beautiful, but the second I heard the line, “And I was catching my breath / Floors of a cabin creaking under my step” I thought back to the “gold rush” line “I see me padding across your wooden floors.” And I just really love the idea of love moving from a daydream to a possibility. That feels like a good arc. Because there's been pain this whole album, but there's also been growth and healing--and it's all bee real, as opposed to daydream of "gold rush." And I especially like the connection is made in the third verse when she changes the lyrics from "I had a feeling so peculiar that this pain would be for evermore" to "this pain wouldn't be for evermore." It makes it all retroactively feel more hopeful, like maybe that daydream is possible after all.

Other T. Swift songs it evokes: 

"Lover" (Lover, 2019): In her title track from Lover, Taylor famously said, "And I'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you," and, to be honest, the knowledge that Joe Alwyn sings, plays piano (very well!), and writes some absolutely beautiful songs does make me want him a little bit. Those are some great skills! Twitter likes to make fun of these "everyone wants him" lines, but Twitter's full of jerks. Joe's attractive, talented, and treats Taylor well, so he seems like exactly the kind of partner you should want. But no one should want to break them up. That's rude.

“Jump Then Fall” (Fearless: Platinum Edition, 2009): This isn’t the first time Taylor Swift talks about a love interest’s hair. In a bonus track from her first Album-of-the-Year-winning-record, she says, “Well, I like the way your hair falls in your face,” and it’s honestly one of my favorite lines in the song because of the way she delivers it. “Jump Then Fall” is criminally underrated, by the way. The opening and closing lines of “gold rush” also evoke this song: “Gleaming, twinkling eyes like sinking ships on waters so inviting, I almost jump in.” In “Jump Then Fall,” she’s encouraging her love interest to jump into a relationship with her; in “gold rush,” she’s saying, “I almost want to, but I won’t”—because, let’s face it, sinking ships aren’t exactly a place you want to be.

My most ridiculous conspiracy theory about this song: I don’t want to say this—but I think Twitter probably already has, because Twitter is pretty relentless—but I think people will say this is about Harry Styles. I mean, the man has perfect hair that often falls into place; he definitely knows what it’s like to grow up that beautiful, and his latest music video was for his song “Golden,” which, besides the obvious similarity to “gold,” was also filmed in a coastal town in Italy. It’s also fairly common knowledge that the pop-rockstar likes the Eagles, reflected in the lyric “my Eagles t-shirt hanging from the door”—heand One Direction bandmate Niall Horan went to a concert last year—and, he’s British, so any reference to “day-old tea” will evoke her love-affair with England, even if it’s not about her ex. Also, the whole idea of “I don’t like a gold rush” reminds me that Harry has had an incredible year even with the pandemic. His late-2019 album Fine Line is Grammy-nominated, and he’s really just exploded recently—I don’t think it’s wrong to say that everybody wants him. Again, I don't believe this is the case AT ALL, but it's 2020, so enjoy a completely wild conspiracy theory since there are no rules anymore.

Left: Harry Styles performing at the 2020 virtual iHeartRadio Jingle Ball, his hair clearly falling into place like dominoes
Right: Harry Styles during the filming of his "Golden" music video on the Amalfi Coast of Italy.
Both images show that he has certainly grown up beautiful

Track #4: “‘tis the damn season”

Favorite line(s): “We could call it even / You could call me ‘babe’ for the weekend / ‘Tis the damn season” or “I parked my car between the Methodist / And the school that used to be ours” or “Time flies, messy as the mud on your truck tires” or “I escaped it, too / Remember how you watched me leave”

Initial thoughts and feelings: I write all this while back in my hometown for the holidays, and, write this down, staying at my parents’ house: “’tis the damn season” might be my favorite. While I’ve come to love the first 3 tracks probably by the second listen through, there was something about the way she says, “We could call it even” that made me gasp on that first listen—and let’s be real, I was predisposed to like it because of the title. It’s not a love song’ it’s kind of a hookup song, but, at its core, I think it’s about wanting to be loved—especially at Christmas, and it’s just a little sassy with the “’tis the damn season” hook. Like, I want this song to be used during the dramatic climax of a sad Hallmark movie! It’s a whole story about coming back to your hometown and trying to reclaim something that you know deep down isn’t there anymore. Something about coming home always makes me a little uncomfortable about coming home; businesses close and open; people move away, but some things stay resolutely the same. I’m the same; I’ve changed in so many ways that coming home sometimes feels like putting on an old pair of pants that are just a little too short and tight—but I also fall right back into old friendships and find comfort in the familiarity of the roads I used to travel every day.

Top: The Jacksonville First United Methodist Church (where my family are members)
Bottom: "The old" Kitty Stone Elementary School, which I attended as a child; it's no longer in use because of the asbestos in the building; the city built a new school across town.
The two buildings are literally across the street from each other.

For me, the strength of this song is that the setting is just so real and vivid, something I’ll be saying about a lot of these songs. I mean, the line “I parked my car between the Methodist and the school that used to be ours” could literally be about Jacksonville. The Methodist church is literally right across the street from the now-empty old elementary school. When I was in school, we used to walk to the church for Wednesday-night-church-kid-things. The character is so rich, too. She’s [see next point for why I’m using feminine pronouns] making this after choice to have a fling with her old love (yay for women making decisions about their bodies and embracing their sexuality), but the songs also laced with so much melancholy, from her reference to Robert Frost’s “The RoadNot Taken” with the line “and the road not taken looks real good now” to the bridge: “So I’ll go back to L.A. / and my so-called friends / Who’ll write books about me if I ever make it / and wonder about the only soul who knows which smiles I’m faking.” I feel like she must be in her mid-to-late 20s, because that kind of regret and “what if?” mentality has big quarter-life-crisis vibes.

Drunk in the middle of the night feels like the only way to write a song about going home for the holidays as an adult. https://t.co/AF1K4JDgbQ

— Katie Cline (@katiebethbug) December 19, 2020

Connection to other songs on folklore & evermore:

The way I desperately want a High School Musical-esque movie-musical about this high school and these students!

“dorothea”: In her album letter, Taylor says, “Before I knew it, there were 17 tales, some of which are mirrored or intersecting with one another […] Dorothea, the girl who left her small town to chase down Hollywood dreams—and what happens when she comes back for the holidays and rediscovers an old flame.” The narrators in both “’tis the damn season” and “dorothea” refer to their loves as “soul” (“and wonder about the only soul who knows which smiles I’m faking” and “Are you still the same soul that I met under the bleachers?”). Using “souls” just makes them feel connected on a deeper level, like maybe they’re constantly being pulled back to each other in a never-ending “right person, wrong time” scenario.

“betty”: In the YouTube chat prior to the “willow” music video premiere, Taylor said that she imagined that Betty, James, August Girl (also called Augustine or Augusta, according to the Long Pond Sessions on Disney+), and Dorothea all went to school together—which would mean “betty” is canonically set in Tupelo [see “dorothea” entry in "Part 2" for more]

Other T. Swift songs it evokes:

“Babe” (Bigger by Sugarland, 2018): This song was considered for Taylor Swift’s Red (2012) album, but she ultimately sold it the country duo Sugarland and was featured on the track when it was released in 2018. The line in “’tis the damn season” that says, “You can call me ‘babe’ for the weekend” evokes the title of this track, which details the fallout of a relationship when one party cheats.

“Blank Space” (1989, 2014): In her massive 2014 hit that parodies the media’s view of Swift’s “serial dating” habits, Swift sings “I can make the bad guys good for a weekend.” Like “’tis the damn season,” the narrators know the relationship won’t last, but “Blank Space”’s woman takes a sick amount of joy in her manipulative ways, while Dorothea’s weekend fling makes the listener…sad for her.

"The Outside" (Taylor Swift, 2006): Throwing it all the way back to her debut, "The Outside" also reference's Frost's poem in the lines "I tried to take the road less traveled by / but nothing seems to work the first few times / Am I right?" Anyone who's studied this poem in a poetry survey course (like I did my sophomore year of undergrad) has had this conversation: we always interpret the last lines (And I--/ I took the one less traveled by, / and that has made all the difference) as meaning the road less traveled by is the better one and that the difference is a good difference, but that's not necessarily the case, as the narrator/Dorothea touches on in "'tis the damn season." It more means, "You made your choice, and that's affected your life--for better or for worse." And it's really cool to me to see those two interpretations reflected in different songs at opposite ends of her discography. "The Outside" very much feels like she's trying to do the right thing, but it doesn't always work, and she feels like an outcast because she's taking the "wrong" road, and then "'tis the damn season" shows that doubt and uncertainty, like, "Maybe the road less traveled by was less traveled by for a reason; maybe I messed this up."

My most ridiculous theory involving this song: I don’t think this is an actual connection, but there’s the line in “no body, no crime” that goes, “And I noticed when I passed his house / His truck has got some brand new tires” I’m not saying that Este’s husband cheated on her with Dorothea and then murdered Este and dumped the body, thereby making his tires “messy” like is mentioned in “’tis the season,” but I am saying that that’s a wild conspiracy theory, and I won’t tell you not to entertain it.

Track #5: “tolerate it”

Favorite line(s): “I know my love should be celebrated / But you tolerate it” and also the entire bridge into the second chorus, but especially "What would you do if I / Break free and leave us in ruins / Took this dagger in me and removed it / Gain the weight of you, then lose it? / Believe me, I could do it"

Line that hits way too close to home: "Always taking up too much space or time"

Initial thoughts and feelings: Okay, so there are a lot of fan theories around "tolerate it," from it being  about Princess Diana and Prince Charles to it being about someone coming out as LGTBQ+ to their family--but, frankly, I couldn't pay attention to any of these theories because I was too busy SOBBING. I'll be honest, "my tears ricochet" didn't hit me as hard as I expected it to the first time I heard it (it's grown on me since), so I wasn't super sure what to expect from this track 5, BUT WOW. This is what a "Taylor Swift Track 5 song" means to me. This song takes every nerve ending in my body and exposes it. This song physically rips me open and feeds my heart to the wolves. This song reads my diary, emails it to the whole school, and takes out space in the local paper to publish it. 

I love it. 

Me and Jennie, summer 2015
 (just after our freshman year of college)
Sorry, Jennie! It was already on
Facebook, thought!

So, I've been slowly getting my friend/college roommate Jennie (yes, one of the ones I talk to regularly) into Taylor Swift. It didn't necessarily start out that way, but, eventually, everyone I know finds at least one Taylor Swift song they like. So Jennie messaged our group chat not long ago to inform me that she "really likes evermore" and gave me a list of her favorites, including "tolerate it," which she said "definitely brought a young freshman Katie to mind." And I'm simultaneously like, "That's terrifying," but also like, "It's true." 2020, in particular, has been a year of working on setting personal boundaries, because I do tend to give too many chances, especially to friends. And while this song is absolutely heartwrenching, I'm obsessed with the fact that she knows her love should be celebrated. Like, "Yes, girl! Know your worth!" And I've definitely given my love to people who haven't celebrated it, and I'm trying to stop doing that. 

Connection to other songs on folklore & evermore:

"invisible string": Like with "New Year's Day" and "champagne problems," I don't want to make this connection, but Taylor doesn't exactly write about barbed wire very much, so when the line in the bridge goes, "Where's the man who threw blankets over my barbed wire?" I immediately thought of the bridge of "invisible string" where there are the lines "Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire / Chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons / One single thread of gold tied me to you." I also don't want to mention that both songs open with lines about reading: "Green was the color of the grass where I used to read in Centennial Park" in "invisible string" and "I sit and watch you reading with your head down" in "tolerate it." However, for personal reasons, I refuse to believe that that beautiful song about Joe and Fate and true love being real and everything working out the way it's supposed to could ever devolve into a cold, loveless relationship like in "tolerate it."

Other T. Swift songs it evokes:

"Paper Rings" (Lover, 2019): Listen. I'm aware that I probably need therapy for drawing connections between two of her happiest love songs in her catalogue and this heartbreaking song, but hear me out. In "Paper Rings," she says, "Now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe," and in "tolerate it" she says, "I wake and watch you breathing with your eyes closed." How am I not supposed to draw those parallels??? Again, "Paper Rings" is clearly about Joe, and "tolerate it" is a story about characters--maybe people she knows, maybe characters from books or TV shows or movies, maybe historical figures. I refuse to pair them together. But wouldn't it make for the saddest movie soundtrack ever if you started out with songs like "Paper Rings" and "invisible string" and then transitioned into songs like "tolerate it"???? 

"All Too Well" (Red, 2012): Possibly her best song up to 2020, and definitely a fan fixation, "All Too Well" has been the pinnacle of vulnerability for 8 years. And maybe it's not actually that similar to "tolerate it" except that they both make me cry and happen to be Track 5 songs, but I think they complement each other. "All Too Well" is definitely a "I want to sit in my sadness and be sad because how could you do this to me" kind of song; it has some anger and frustration to it for sure. And "tolerate it" is a quiet kind of resignation and despair, but the second chorus (referenced in my "favorite line(s)") shows the listener (and maybe the narrator, too) that she is capable of breaking free and leaving this relationship. "All Too Well" is about being left and not knowing why you weren't enough and fixating on it, and "tolerate it" is leaving and not knowing why you weren't enough and accepting that you deserve better. And it's that bridge and second chorus that makes all the difference for me. In my opinion, "All Too Well" says a lot about the ex, while "tolerate it" says more about the narrator, and I think that's something really important to acknowledge.

So those are my many, many thoughts (only about 4800 words! #whoops!) on the first 5 tracks of evermore! Part 2 (Tracks 6-10) coming soon! (Update: It was posted on December 26th, so you can view it here.) If you made it this far, I'm impressed. Let me know if you have anything to add or if you want to co-write a Taylor Swift book with me!

May we all come back stronger than a 90s trend,

Katie