Captain's Log, Day 20: "Are We Out of the Woods Yet?" (A: No)

Date: July 26, 2020

Time of post: 2:00 AM

Quarantine Day: 123

Last Song I Listened To: “epiphany" by Taylor Swift

Last Person I Communicated With: sent a message in one of my grad school group chats!

Last Thing I Ate: New York cheesecake with chocolate gelato

Last Thing I Read: my notes for the paper I’m working on

Current Mood: pretty good, minus the permanent undercurrent of anxiety and frustration

One Thing I’ve Accomplished Today: got motivated to work on a potential paper!

One Thing I Want To Accomplish Today: write more blog posts (I have 2 in mind)

One Reason I’m Stressed Today: already thinking about having to head back to Manhattan

One Reason I’m Happy Today: Mom’s birthday was yesterday, and we celebrated!

Dear Apocalypsers,

It’s been awhile! I bet you’re wondering about the state of the world. Here’s a quick rundown on some of the biggest (and most ridiculous) things that have happened since my last post:

•     Kanye West announced thathe was running for President…and then had a really disturbing and sad and scary mental breakdown on Twitter
• Governor Laura Kelly declared that Kansas schools wouldn’t start until September 9^th…and then the State BOE said she couldn’t do that.
• A lot of schools are planning on going back to in-person classes in August.
• An Alabama Senator, Del Marsh, said that he wants people to get COVID because—if they survive—it willhelp build herd immunity.
• As of today, over 149,000 have died from COVID-19 in the US; there have been over 4.25 million confirmed cases.
• Secret Police in Portland are throwing people in vans amidst protests.
• People aren’t talking about BLM on social media as much anymore, but the protests are still going onand going strong. (I try to share information about it daily on Twitter and Instagram.)
• Rep. Ted Yoho (R-FL) called Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) “disgusting” and a “fucking bitch”…to herface
• Civil Rights Leader, Rep. John Lewis (D-GA) died on the 17^th
• Taylor Swift announced a brand-new surprise album on the 23^rd; it dropped at midnight on the 24^th, and it’s given the Internet the first collective joy since March.
• Small personal joy: we got a new dog! He was a stray my brother found at work. We named him Duck, and he’s the biggest baby. I love him so much.

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“What I do have issue with is using women - our wives and daughters - as shields and excuses for poor behavior” 💥 @aoc EDIT: hi, offering to share the high res art file for you to print in exchange for a $10 suggested donation that would all be donated to @womenofcolorinthearts which works to create an equitable, inclusive and diverse performing arts field by giving voice and visibility to women of color. If interested, can send me your Venmo payment (under my name) along with “AOC” and your email in its comment and I can share the file with you ✌️✌️if no Venmo PayPal works too - see stories for info

A post shared by Justin Teodoro (@justinteodoro) on Jul 23, 2020 at 6:09pm PDT

Me with Duck just a few days after I got
back to Alabama!

I’m sure I’m missing things. I was so overwhelmed the last time I wrote, but I pushed through. I spent a lot of time educating myself and thinking about my own actions, and I can breathe a little bit easier now—literally. There were some days in early-to-mid-June where my anxiety was so high my chest hurt. I still firmly believe that there are terrible and unacceptable things happening in the world right now and that it’s our responsibility as human beings to never shut up about them, but I’ve adjusted to the stress, I guess.

He's 88lbs of cuddle.

I think it helps that I came home to spend some time with my family. Yes, there are more COVID cases in Alabama than in Kansas, but being with my family has really eased my anxiety. It’s nice to have daily human contact again. I don’t have to actively remind myself to stop clenching my jaw nearly as often as when I was alone all the time. And, as we all know, I have some big control issues, so—even though I can’t actually do anything—I like being near my family in case they need me. I can go to the store for my parents and limit their possible exposure to the virus as much as possible, so I feel like I have some semblance of control.

So, I just wanted to pop in with some updates for when I inevitably reread this blog in 40 years. We’ve been quarantining for more of 2020 than we weren’t, and, because the U.S. is being so lackadaisical with its regulations, I imagine we’ll be quarantining for a while still.

So, to quote my girl Taylor Swift—and to segue us into the next post that I’m already planning—“Are we outof the woods yet?”

No.

No we’re not.

And may the odds be ever in our favor,

Katie